PandaDelight★

Quick update & long personal post.

I changed my template and to be honest I don't like it. I'll probably add a banner sooner or later but this template will take getting used to. I mean it's okay~ but I liked how it looked before, LOL.
Oh well!!
Now for the personal stuff;;

Looks like I’ll need to wait till I turn 19 to go for my GED. :l Oh well, not like I have to wait that long. I should at least do the bartending classes before winter then when I turn 19 I can go for my GED and either look into colleges or go for flight attendant training. I’m pretty fixed on getting those 3 things.

I need a job and I’ll continue to search for one till I get one. I’m looking at charity work and perhaps that’s the route to go as impatient as I am I need to make my resume look like gold. ;~; uggguuu. I’m looking into temporary jobs too, although it’s not a fixed job it’s something which is better than nothing.

I need a new OHIP card because I lost mine and if I need to go to the hospital in case of an emergency I’m literally fucked. On the bright side the new ones have a photo ID so I won’t need to go through hell picking up packages from the post office since they now want ID with photo and address on it. >:l

I need my passport too~ although I probably won’t be going anywhere too soon but I’m seriously thinking about it Melissa came up with a good idea~ I just wish I could get my GED. ugh, if I can find a way to get my GED early I could look into colleges in NY. Or even if I decide just to work it’d be easier.

For now I’ll keep searching for a job and if I find any charity work or even a temporary job I’ll go for it~ and while I’m doing that there might be some things I can find at the library on the stuff I need to study up on. Now that I think about it I still need to get my resume printed out… I’ll go into my job counselor and use her computer/printer I guess~ OTL

Other than that I think that’s about it.

Now about how I’m doing, I’m okay. Not okay as in fantastically good never been better but just okay. Staying here I don’t think is a good idea and I think everyone knows that. I need to get out. It’s not a life or death type thing but it’s something I’ve been trying to deal with on my own and I don’t think I can do it anymore. Staying here isn’t healthy for me, my mood is shit, my health is shit, everything is a lose/lose situation and here I just feel so alone, I hate it.

My family has helped me a lot I’m not saying I hate them and want to leave and never talk to them it’s just… I can’t deal with it for now. And I really want to put myself together because if I stay here I feel years and years will pass and nothing will change, that scares the shit out of me. Just thinking about how I remember last year like it was yesterday and realizing nothing has really changed is depressing itself. I want change and if I stay here I’m just going to keep going downhill.

Even if I have no help it’s completely fine. But staying here and feeling alone and having no help for some reason it just gets to me to the point where I start to feel like I’m stranded on a deserted island myself. I just really hate it, not my family but the environment, the feeling, it drives me crazy.

Everything here feels too late to start over so I get that yearning for a new completely different environment, just so I can get that sense of starting anew. The thought of me wanting to go somewhere I no nothing about to other people sounds like a stupid idea but to me I’m the kind of person to adapt and grow from it.

To me, describing how I feel is something I’ve always been uncomfortable and awkward with because it’s literally like speaking a foreign language, something I don’t know how to explain with words. But I think I explained myself best as I could even though I talk too much, haha. OTL

I keep worrying people, and for that I’m sorry~
Eventually everything will be okay so I should stay positive rather than getting myself down about things like that.
Things will change, things will get better.

4 comment(s)

9.16.2011 (16.9.11)

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PandaDelight

Profile

Full Name : Chelsi Caroline Scott

Location : Toronto, Canada

Age : 19

Height : 5'2"

Weight : 90lbs.

Birth Date : 02 / 12 / 1993

Interests : Fashion, style, gore/horror, video games, makeup, modeling, art, literature & photography.

Hobbies : Cooking, watching dramas and movies, listening to a wide range of music, playing games, cosplaying, photography, testing makeup.

Ambition / Goals : To become a model, photographer, bartender or simply a job that involves animals, makeup, entertainment or food.

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Fact (s)

Like (s) : Gyaru, Street fashion, Makeup, Wigs, Body Art, Fatal Frame, Legend of Zelda, Rilakkuma, Photography, Music, Dir en grey, DBSK/TVXQ, Misfits, Criminal Minds, The Walking Dead, Resident Evil fra Games, Zodiac signs, Horoscopes, Paranormal, Shopping, Food, J-rock, K-pop, Dramas, Cosplay, Art, Candy, Gore, Horror genre in general, Dressing up, Walking Dead,

Dislike (s) : Ignorance, Arrogance, Dishonesty & bullshit.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe

FAQ

Do you have a Facebook?
Yes, click here.

What's the tattoo on your collar bone mean / say?

"Always keep the faith"
Quite self explanatory really. I believe one must have faith in order to keep going and moving forward in life. This tattoo was mainly a dedication towards one of my favorite bands (DBSK, TVXQ, Tohoshinki) but is also one with a close personal meaning. The stars are also the constellation of Cassiopeia.

What camera(s) do you use to take pictures?
Canon EOS Rebel T3i, Sony Cyber-shot DSC-W350, Microsoft LifeCam HD Webcam and occasionally I use my Nokia C3 just for mobile pictures.

What do you edit your photos with?
Mainly Photoshop CS5 & XiuXiu Photo Editor.

How can I lose weight/Do you have any tips?
Cut calories, stayed away from salt and any kind of soda, stopped eating late (I usually wait anywhere from 4-5 hours after a meal to sleep), Drank at least 5 bottles of water a day, started working out continuously, kept up with normal sleeping schedule, cut out any kind of instant foods especially that of instant noodles and started eating more lean meats (Mostly chicken & turkey) and veggies.

As for tips I could give so many...
If you ever feel hungry make sure you're actually hungry and not bored or want to eat because you're depressed.
If you get tempted to cheat put a rubber band tightly around your wrist to remind yourself. Brushing teeth or using mouth wash is what I do if I get tempted to cheat because whatever you eat after probably won't seem as good as it did before you brushed your teeth/use mouth wash. Another method to not overeat is to use smaller plates and don't pile food on.
If you do then eat slowly until you feel full and then find a way to ruin whatever is left of your food. I used to fill my plate up but when I finished sometimes I got lazy to put the food away and I would keep picking at it. So in order to avoid doing that anymore, the moment I get full I pour a bit of my drink over my food so I can completely cross it out of my mind.

What brand of makeup do you use?
There's no specific brand I stick to but if you would like a list of the makeup I use a lot I'll list them.

Hard Candy Sheer Envy Skin Perfecting Primer
Maybelline Dream Liquid Mousse Airbrush Finish in Light/Porcelain Ivory
CoverGirl skin powder in Buff Beige
Hard Candy All Over Highlighter in 135/the brown palette
Hard Candy Blush Crush Baked blush in 125 living doll
Maybelline Falsies mascara
Elf Waterproof Eyeliner pen
Dolly Wink eyeliner (I use any kind of eyeliner that goes on well though)

For eyeshadow I use a lot of Rimmel because they're always the best when it comes to pigmented colored eyeshadow. I also use a few no name palettes I got off Ebay for cheap which I use a lot.

For false eyeslashes I mainly use Dolly Wink, Diamond Lash and Quo lashes along side no brand lashes I find online for cheap.

And as for makeup brushes I use mainly Quo brushes but I also use some Elf ones especially the eyeshadow brushes.
Do you have any pictures without makeup/circle lenses?
Of course.
Why do you use wigs?
They're fun to wear and create looks with. Also useful considering I get bored with my own hair quite often but I can never decide what hair color to go for.
Where do you buy your wigs / What are good places to buy them?
Mainly Ebay is your best bet. Type in wig & whatever color/style you want in the search bar, search, then select "eBay Top-rated sellers" under the sellers part on the left part where the categories are just below that. Look for wigs that are $20 and up. I wouldn't spend over $50 on a wig depending on the wig since some sellers charge way too much when you can find the same quality for cheaper.
Personally, I like heat-resistant wigs that are made with Japanese Kanekalon fibers because it's easy to take care of seeing as there's little to no tangles and the tangles that you do get are much much easier to get out so keep a look out for wigs that are either heat-resistant or made with Kanekalon fibers.
Make sure you check the sellers feedback page just make sure they seem legit.

Some stores that I buy mine from are;
http://stores.ebay.com/jcpunk (I got my long blonde wig from them. It's an incredibly gorgeous and thick wig but around the roots of the wig it is a bit frizzy but it's not that noticeable and the quality of the wig was still great plus there's no shedding)
http://stores.ebay.com/hualinhk2009 (I got my long black wig from them. Extremely good quality, no frizzy bits or shedding and came really quickly.)
http://stores.ebay.com/wigfashion (I got my red wig from them. I was EXTREMELY disappointed at how shiny the wig was and when I tried to style it using a hair straighter it melted the fibers even though it said heat resistant on the page and I was using low heat. I ended up needing to cut a chunk out of the wig and personally it just looks really fake to me, especially in person. Personally, I don't recommend this store compared to other stores I've brought from.)
http://stores.ebay.com/cosplaywig (I've bought most of my wigs from here. My brown, black/blonde, blue, pink & older blonde wig that I no longer have are all brought from this seller. INCREDIBLE quality. With some of the more pastel colored wigs if you do buy them I recommenced using baby powder to lessen the shine to the wig a bit. The fibers are amazing and literally NEVER tangle and most realistic. I've never had a problem with this store besides that my blonde/black wig was quite frizzy where the black & blonde was put together. Other than that I highly recommeed buying from here seeing as you get what you paid for and not some cheap looking replica of the pictures they give you.)

There's a lot more stores such as
http://www.gothiclolitawigs.com/
http://mintymix.com/
http://lockshopwigs.com/
But I've never ordered from them before so it's your choice to take the risk. But I've heard they're pretty accurate and legit about the stuff they sell so I'm personally extremely interested in ordering from those shops next.
What contacts do you use?
The ones I use quite frequently are EOS Candy Blue, Geo Xtra Hearts in Grey, Geo Princess Mimi in Sesame Grey, & EOS WM-207 Max Nudy Pink.
How did you start modeling?
One day I got asked by a photographer if I'd be interested in doing a shoot. After that I honestly saw modeling in a different light seeing as I was never interested in it beforehand. I grew an interest in looking more into it and after that I made a ModelMayhem account and one thing led to another and I started having fun doing TFP shoots with photographers in my area.
Do you see yourself doing modeling as a career?
No. It's a fact that the career of modeling will only last for so long however, I'm just interested in it more as a hobby. I want to construct a unique portfolio that brings out some unique-ness and individuality in myself that perhaps in some ways will set me apart from other people who pursue modeling. Maybe I'd get interested in it for a career later on but it's not something I would do strictly for work and career. I just like doing it as a hobby.

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